September Smiles

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Two elderly academics-one retired history professor, the other a retired professor of psychology-had been persuaded by their wives to take a weeks holiday on Spain`s Costa del Sol. As they sat in their shorts on the hotel balcony one balmy evening sipping glasses of wine, the history professor turned to the psychology professor and said, “Have you read Marx?”

“Yes”, answered the professor of psychology, “I think it must be these wicker chairs.”

Bett

An elderly lady was driving along at 16mph along Louth Rd, and had a huge queue of traffic backed up behind her. A police car stopped her and the policeman approached her car.

“Madam”, the policeman said, “why are you driving so slowly?”

“Oh sorry officer,” she replied, “I was only following the speed signs. Look, over there, it says A16.”

“The speed limit here is 30mph, madam, that sign is the number of the road, not the speed limit.”

“Oh I’m so sorry,” she said, guiltily.

The officer looked at the passengers in the back of her car and noticed they were all very shook up and dishevelled.

“What’s the matter with your friends, why do they look so shaken?”

The elderly lady replied, “Well, that’s because I’ve just come off the A180!”

Andy (courtesy of John Campbell)

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